Intro 101
Psychotherapy was originally referred to as "talk therapy". Although healing practices have existed since the dawn of time, including healing through words, it wasn't until the late 1800's before it became formalized by Sigmund Freud. In the last 100+ years, psychotherapy as an enterprise has expanded tremendously in terms of access, cost, duration, method of delivery, modality, and many other characteristics. As such, even though we use the same word -- i.e. psychotherapy -- two different clients (sometimes even the same client) may have vastly different experiences of it.
What does it do?
There are numerous benefits of participating in psychotherapy. The following are some of the most common ones:
Safe space for sharing secrets
Organizes mental stress
Offers emotional relief
Strengthens emotion regulation
Provides alternative perspectives and meanings
Improves relationships
Improves communication
Increases self-awareness
Facilitates achievement of goals and dreams
Frequency of therapy sessions
Traditionally, sessions occur once a week. Sometimes they can be scheduled once every two weeks, once every three weeks, or once a month. A common approach is to start once a week and gradually decrease the frequency as treatment progress is made.
Structure of sessions
Just like most other variables in psychotherapy, the structure of sessions is diverse. Sometimes the therapist talks more than the client; other times, it is the other way around. Sometimes we fill out worksheets or engage in role-play exercises tailored towards a specific skill; other times we just talk. We may talk only about the past and try to understand how it affects the present. Or we may talk only about the present and the future, without focusing on the past. Sometimes topics are very specific and agenda-driven; other times we let ourselves free-flow and see what we discover. Therapy sessions can be as personal or impersonal as you would like them to be. Your therapist should be able to use any of these strategies and to move along the journey of improvement with you - sometimes right by your side, sometimes a step ahead, sometimes a step behind.
how to select a therapist
Many “newcomers” feel discouraged when it comes time to selecting their first therapist. They have finally admitted to themselves they need professional help and are ready to act, but “How do you select one among hundreds of available options?!” This can definitely be a daunting task. Here are several important characteristics that will likely make it easier and, hopefully, a more pleasant experience for you when this is your first time:
Gender - do you want your therapist to be male or female? Age - do you want your therapist to be significantly older than you or about the same age? Geographic location - how close to where you work or live do you want them to be located? If you have an ethnic background, do you want your therapist to be of the same ethnicity as you or have, at least, some foreign background? Other demographic characteristics that will help narrow down the options include sexual orientation, race, and religious background.
Aside from demographic characteristics and geographic location, another way to narrow down the hundreds of options is to ask yourself if you are looking for a very specific type of treatment or need to discuss a very specific type of problem. For instance, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a specific type of treatment that requires lengthy training and formal certification in order to be used. Similarly, there are some troubles people need help with that should be treated only by a certain type of mental health professionals. Some examples include severe eating disorders, opioid addiction, reproductive issues, gender reassignment surgery, or childhood sexual trauma.
How do you know if your treatment has been effective?
Some define successful psychotherapy as a point in one's treatment when the symptoms one came for have disappeared. Unfortunately, those initial symptoms might subsequently be replaced by new symptoms, which is why some mental health professionals define successful treatment as a point in time when one is completely symptom-free. Lastly, there are also folks who do not focus on eliminating symptoms at all because (1) a person can display symptoms and still have a good life or (2) they believe the said symptoms are just a smokescreen for something deeper and long-standing, which is what truly needs to be emphasized. Personally, I tend to modify the definition of successful psychotherapy depending on the client I work with -- i.e. I invite them to co-construct it together with me.
Generally speaking, however, there are several subjective signs that likely indicate you have had a positive experience: (1) feeling more connected with the world at large (God, reality, the universe, humanity) than before you started, (2) restoring the balance between making life the way you want it to be and adjusting yourself to the way life wants you to be, (3) going to bed every night with appreciation or satisfaction and waking up every morning feeling excited to start the new day, and (4) managing to bounce back quickly when unwanted events occur.